Why Every LGBTQ+ Person — Especially Intended Parents (IPs) — Should be Furious at Italy Right Now

August 13, 2023 Bryan McColgan, MD

For the past eight months, Italy has systematically been trying to dismantle existing LGBTQ+ rainbow families and prevent the creation of any new ones by making surrogacy in any country in the world illegal. This is an aggressive attack from the current right wing government, and it is concerning as it could indicate a trend in Europe, given the recent rise of right wing governments across the continent. In this article, I will briefly describe this conservative, nationalistic trend in Europe, the history and current policies for LGBTQ+ families and intended parents (IPs) in Italy, and what the future for rainbow families in Europe could look like.

Europe’s nationalistic trend follows the rise of America’s reality show President

As with many Democratic Party Americans, I was shocked in 2016 when Donal Trump was elected the 45th President of the United States. At this point I realized I had spent my entire adult life in the liberal bubbles of New York City and San Francisco. There was a very large, and very different part of America that I had not been exposed to, even through social media. Trump’s grip (in his albeit tiny hands) remains strong on a large portion of the American public, where he is the front-runner for the 2024 Republican Party Presidential nomination. In spite of the insurrection in D.C. and numerous congressional and legal challenges, these Trump supporters strongly believe he actually won the 2020 election and should be elected again in 2024 (1).

Similar political divisions have developed and are now coming to fruition across Europe. In 2022, the far-right Sweden Democrats, once considered political pariahs due to their historic Nazi ties, became the second largest party in the country with a record 20.5% of the vote. They are now in a coalition with the other conservative parties, enjoying access to governmental policy in an unprecedented scenario (2). Italy’s current government is the most right wing it has been since they were part of the fascist Axis Powers in World War II, with a particular focus on denigrating LGBTQ+ rainbow families. Prime Minister Meloni gave a speech outlining these anti-LGBTQ+ party priorities, stating, “Yes to the natural family, no to the LGBT lobby, yes to sexual identity, no to gender ideology” (3). There have been two other recent, although incomplete, right wing political movements of note in Europe: France and Spain. Last year, Macron won the election but Le Pen’s far right went mainstream with an unprecedented 41.5% of the vote, showing that far-right ideas have become increasingly acceptable in France (4). This year in Spain, a snap election was called and the Conservative People’s Party, with the backing of the far right Vox party, won the election, but they have yet to form a majority for government (5).

Although there are some variations in these right wing parties across the continent, they all have some shared characteristics: nationalistic, EU-skeptical, anti-immigration, and anti-LGBTQ+. Like Trump, they are also emboldened to say inflammatory things. One very recent example includes a statement from Sweden Democrat Björn Söder, who commented that Pride in Stockholm and those who celebrate are legitimizing pedophilia (6). However, no right-wing government in Europe at the moment is more anti-LGBTQ+ than Italy.

Italy’s strained relationship with the LGBTQ+ community

Being raised Catholic and going to Catholic middle and high schools, I have some insight into the uncomfortable relationship of being gay and Catholic. While I do not practice Catholicism anymore, it is hard to deny its influence on my personality and spirituality, and so I have some empathy for gay Italians, whose culture is inextricably linked to the Catholic religion. However, this religious culture has made Italy somewhat of an outlier in largely LGBTQ+ friendly Europe. Unlike many countries in Europe that now recognize same sex marriage, Italy does not. It only began to allow same sex civil unions, which do not hold the same legal benefits as marriage, in 2016. Also, same sex Italians are not permitted to adopt, and medically assisted reproduction such as IVF is only legal for heterosexual couples but not for same sex couples or even single women. In 2004, legislation was passed in Italy stating that anyone involved in domestic surrogacy faces three months to two years in jail, as well as a fine ranging from 600,000 to 1 million Euros (7). Because of these restrictions, the only option for LGBTQ+ Italians to pursue family building is through IVF and surrogacy arrangements abroad. However, Italy is now trying to also make that pathway illegal.

Italy’s legislative crusade against LGBTQ+ rainbow families

Since the end of 2022, Italy has taken a series of dramatic legal steps to break up and dismantle current and future LGBTQ+ rainbow families.

In December 2022, the Italian Supreme Court handed down a ruling on the parentage of same sex couples with children born abroad, stating that IPs should not automatically be registered as the parents to a child, rather the non-genetic, non-gestational partner in the relationship should have to go through a formal adoption in Italy to be recognized as a parent. This is counter to the arrangement in the United States, where the IPs, regardless of gender, are listed as the parents on all documentation and are immediately recognized as the parents of the child. Several couples — both same sex and opposite sex — filed appeals with the European Court of Human Rights against the Italian Supreme Court. However, the cases were dismissed, as the European Court stated that the IPs still had the option of adopting the child to gain parental rights (8).

Despite the EU stating that adoption is still a pathway to parentage for same sex couples in Italy who had children from abroad, this makes little legal sense in a country where same sex couples are not permitted to adopt. Also, the mental, emotional, and logistical challenges of adopting your own child seem like an unnecessary and cruel step for LGBTQ+ families. With no regard for the LGBTQ+ community, the Italian Minister of the Interior began enacting this Supreme Court ruling in January 2023. At that time, Italian mayors were ordered to stop automatically registering births of children born or conceived abroad via assisted reproductive technologies (9). This first started taking effect in March 2023 with a gay couple in Milan, followed by challenges to 33 female same sex couples in Padua.

Mauro and Maurizio are the gay couple in Milan who encountered this new legal challenge to their parentage. Their twin babies, Luisa and Giorgio, were born through surrogacy in the U.S. last January. Their American birth certificates, recognizing both fathers, were to be transcribed at the Civil Register in Milan, but this was stopped by the Italian government (10). The situation in Padua is even more concerning, as it involved 33 same sex couples, and it also started to remove parentage retroactively back to 2017. Paduan women in same sex relationships were informed that they are to be removed from their children’s birth certificates if they are the non-gestational parent, effectively making this mother a legal stranger even in cases where her eggs were used to create the child via IVF (11). This act makes it so one parent can no longer function as a parent to their child or children, being unable to make any legal, medical, or important decisions. Also, not only is this a legal and logistical headache to deal with, but it is a huge mental and emotional burden for the parents and family to navigate, adding unnecessary stress and complexity to their lives.

Now Italy is trying to crush any new LGBTQ+ rainbow families from forming

The latest in the Italian government’s campaign against LGBTQ+ families occurred this July. A new bill was passed in the chamber of deputies with 166 votes in support and 109 against that extends Italy’s surrogacy ban and punishments outlined above to include surrogacy overseas (12). With no path to local adoption or IVF and surrogacy, LGBTQ+ Italians will now be banned from international IVF and surrogacy, leaving them with no viable avenues to family formation.

The right wing government claims that this is all for the protection of families in Italy. This is ridiculous. These are Italian families that are being attacked, destroyed, and prevented from even forming. I also believe that the people that will suffer the most are the children. Could you imagine trying to understand why your one parent can’t take you to the doctor because they aren’t recognized as a legal guardian? Or, even worse, seeing them get arrested? Or living through the crushing financial implications of a 1 million Euro fine? These actions could break up families completely, leaving the children without the support, love, and comfort that they had previously known with their parents. It does seem like the Italian government has some small insight into the implications of these laws, with Family Minister Eugenia Roccella stating that they may grant ‘amnesty’ to people who have pursued surrogacy abroad. However, this caveat seems weak against the backdrop of Meloni and the Brother’s of Italy’s passionate enactment and demolition of LGBTQ+ family planning in the last eight months (13).

What does the future look like for LGBTQ+ IPs and families in Italy and Europe

The short answer is, this is largely unknown. In December 2022, The EU Commission put forward a proposal to recognize parenthood across Member States. This is crucial in that it would also apply to same sex parents, meaning that Italy would be forced to recognize same sex parentage in the same way as other EU member states. Because EU law supersedes national law, this could impact the Italian Supreme Court ruling and the right wing government’s attacks on LGBTQ+ families, but this is not yet known (14). With regard to the total ban on international surrogacy, this still has to be passed by a second chamber of the Italian government, but if it were to proceed, how it will be enacted in practice is not even understood. Riccardo Magi, the leader of the left wing party Più Europa, said the measure puts Italy ‘at odds with other sovereign countries’ as ‘no European citizen can be convicted of an action that is not a crime either in the country where it is committed or under international treaties’ (12). Since gestational surrogacy is permitted in the U.S. and other countries, how Italy could go about banning and convicted people of this is not legally known.

From my perspective, as a gay man living in a European country and planning my first surrogacy journey in the United States, I am extremely worried. What if this far-right wave continues to spread across Europe and infects the EU government in Brussels? What if the changes that Italy is doing continue across the rest of Catholic Europe, specifically in Spain (15), and then start to impact other countries that could be controlled by right wing governments in the near future, like France? What if historically LGBTQ+ friendly countries like Sweden, continue down a nationalistic and anti-diversity path that means human rights for queer people are called into question?

The questions and anxiety are abundant. However, I feel this is truly the time for a support network like BabyMoon Family to exist. We are here to help queer men navigate the changing landscape of surrogacy, and to offer support through the ambiguity and darkness that can sometimes pervade national legislation such as in Italy.

Please reach out at babymoonfamily@gmail.com if you are an Italian queer IP or rainbow family, and know we are here to help and support you in any way possible.

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