Queer Dad Social Media Influencers in Brazil
In April 2024, the Science & Public Health Magazine of Brazil (Ciência & Saúde Coletiva) published, ‘Digital activism about gay fatherhood on Instagram: male homoparenting in the picture’ (1).
In this BabyMoon Family article, I want to review this article and discuss the topic of queer dad influencers in Brazil, as well as highlight how they compare to those in the United States. The article is an excerpt from a broader master’s thesis, and so it focuses on two queer dad influencers in Brazil. However, I believe the themes discussed in terms of stereotypes, motivations, and challenges with being a rainbow parent in Brazil can be extrapolated to queer fathers around the world.
How to Become a Queer Father in Brazil
The article profiles two queer dads who have become parents through the two domestic options available to intended fathers in Brazil: Adoption and assisted reproductive technology (ART).
As of 2013, Resolution No. 175/2013 of the National Council of Justice in Brazil approved same sex marriages, and so two male parents were allowed to adopt together. As for ART, Resolution No. 2,294 of the Federal Council of Medicine was approved on May 27, 2021. This made the following requirements for IVF and surrogacy in Brazil:
Donation of gametes requires that the identity and family knowledge be shared up to four generations back, so the great-great grandparents of an egg donor must be verified and shared prior to making embryos.
Surrogacy must be altruistic, meaning no compensation is provided to the gestational carrier (GC).
GCs must have at least one living child and belong to the family of one of the intended fathers in a blood relationship until the fourth degree, which would include siblings, cousins, and first cousins once-removed (or the children of the individual's first cousins).
In the article, the authors selected two dads, each of which pursued parenthood from a different domestic pathway available in Brazil:
@papai_e_papia (https://www.instagram.com/papai_e_papia/) run by queer dad, Andre, who has a 12-year-old son and an 11-year- old daughter with his husband through adoption.
@2depais (https://www.instagram.com/2depais) run by queer dads Robert and Gustavo, who had fraternal twins via IVF and surrogacy that were 29 weeks pregnant at the time of their interview.
Heteronormative Culture of Brazil
Andre, Robert, and Gustavo discussed several aspects of the heteronormative and ‘machismo’ culture of Brazil that they have had to deal with as queer men and fathers.
Father as ‘Breadwinner:’ In Brazil, fathers are viewed as the financial provider for their children. Andre stated that as a gay man pursuing adoption there seemed to be a higher ‘burden’ of financial proof required than what would be the case for a heterosexual male in a couple.
Lack of Paternal Leave: Most paternal leave in Brazil is 5 days, with a max of 20 days. This is extremely challenging for all-male couples trying to care for a newborn who is less than a month old.
Pedophilia: The queer dads describe the perspective of conservative Brazil with regard to gay fathers, ‘In the conservative’s mind, the gay man wants to have a child so he can abuse that child!’
While this perspective on pedophilia is reserved for the most conservative of Brazilian society, it is an extremely unfortunate position that is also shared amongst conservatives in the United States and will be discussed later in this article.
‘Accidental’ Queer Dad Influencers
One of the most inspiring aspects to the stories of Andre, Robert, and Gustavo is the fact that they have had the tremendous courage to share their lives in the face of strong social and cultural antagonism.
These men didn’t start their social media accounts to become influencers or make money. They each launched their online rainbow family presence from the simple position of wanting to show other LGBTQ+ people that it is possible to be happy and have a family. Two very simple concepts that can be hard for queer people to see through the myriad of bigotry and prejudice that can exist in the world.
Because of their honesty and veracity, they have connected with hundreds of thousands of followers around the world, many of whom are not even queer men. Andre states that the majority of his followers are women who are considering adoption. This speaks to the universality of experience with parenthood. While the pathway to parenthood for queer men may be specific and different from that for straight couples, the experiences of wanting to and becoming a parent are more similar than not.
Robert and Gustavo try and answer questions around the IVF and surrogacy process, but they also receive criticism for not pursuing adoption:
“Why didn’t they adopt? There are so many children in need of adoption; why didn’t you adopt them?” They don’t even know behind the scenes that we have already tried to go through adoption, and that’s what we always say. LGBT couples are not required to adopt. Whoever does it, it is a other way to achieve fatherhood. But it is not an obligation. So, each person has their own choice of how they want to become a father or a mother.
This question is one that American queer dads such as my husband and I also encounter. While everyone’s journey to parenthood is unique and should be respected, as Robert and Gustavo point out, there is also the fact that adoption is not a straightforward or ‘easier’ process than ART, and because of this, more queer men are opting to pursue ART instead of adoption. This is a trend I have written about in a previous BabyMoon Family article (https://www.babymoonfamily.com/original-articles/rainbow-family-planning).
Parallels with Queer Dad Influencers in the United States
Unfortunately, the malicious accusations around pedophilia are not unique to Brazilian queer intended and current fathers.
In February 2024, one of the most prominent American gay dad influencers, Jose Rolón who is known as @nycgaydad on social media, was viciously attacked by conservative Stew Peters and accused of committing sex crimes against his children (2).
This story is horrific for Jose and his family, but like Andre, Robert, and Gustavo, Jose has had the courage to stand up against the attacks:
“I do feel like I have a responsibility to stand up for those families like myself that don't have a platform. He (Stew Peters) can easily do this where they don't have a voice, where they don't have the means and the resources to go against someone like this. I'm aware it's an uphill battle, but it's something that I'm willing to try and climb.”
There is still much change and social evolution that needs to occur around the world for queer fathers to be accepted and commemorated for the beautiful families that they create.
Social media is a powerful tool to help spread these truths and connect with other families - queer-parented or not - in order to highlight our similarities and celebrate our uniqueness.
Please consider following BabyMoon Family (@babymoonfamily on all social media) as my husband and I continue to share our story of fatherhood through IVF and surrogacy as well as provide information, news, and support for all queer intended and current fathers around the world.
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