Contemplating Life, Death, and Divorce while Reviewing Our Egg Donor Contract
Our journey to fatherhood continues with our latest milestone: The egg donor contract. This contract brought up a lot of interesting topics for my husband and me. We had to contemplate our own mortality, relationship, and future in a way that we haven’t yet. In this article, I reflect on this experience to share it with other queer intended dads.
How to Have an Ethical Surrogacy Journey Outside the United States
Due to financial considerations, more and more queer men are opting to pursue IVF and surrogacy outside the United States. In this article, I describe what I consider to be the minimum requirements for any journey to be considered ethical. My hope is that this can help queer men navigate their options and pursue an ethical journey in any country.
Science Says: Gay Dads are Close to their Adult Children
In this installment of the BabyMoon Family journal club, I review the the first study of adult children of gay fathers to explore associations between timing of sexual orientation disclosure, parent-child relationship quality, and individual well being among adult children. It’s a novel study that has important applications to all queer fathers.
Introduction to Surrogacy for Queer Men
The BabyMoon Family’s version of ‘Surrogacy 101.’ An overview of IVF and surrogacy for queer men, answering questions like ‘What is Surrogacy?’ ‘Where to Go Through Surrogacy?’ and ‘How to Go Through Surrogacy?’ Start your own journey to fatherhood as a queer man here.
The Waiting Game of Having a Baby Through IVF and Surrogacy
Having a baby through IVF and surrogacy as a queer man is a marathon, not a sprint. In this article, I describe the first 1.5 years of my husband’s and my journey thus far. There have been some amazing highs, but there have also been a number of long periods of waiting. Focusing on the journey, not the destination, is one of the goals of BabyMoon Family, and one that I hope to emulate on my own journey to fatherhood.
BabyMoon Family Stories: Rachelle Myers-Nelson’s Surrogacy Journeys with Gay Men and Building Her Chosen Family
Welcome to BabyMoon Family Stories, where I interview someone and discuss their experience with assisted reproductive technology (ART). In this first article, I interview Rachelle Myers-Nelson, who has been a gestational carrier (GC) for four journeys, two of which were for twins. Rachelle has always worked with gay intended fathers, and read more to learn about why she chose this path and how she has expanded her ‘chosen family’ through gestational surrogacy.
I am Writing a Book about IVF and Surrogacy for Queer Men
I am writing a book about IVF and surrogacy for queer men. None exists, and it’s time we have one. In this article, I draft a Table of Contents based on articles I have written, and then I highlight missing content that could be written to fill out the book. Read through and see if there are any topics that are missing or that you would like to have more of in the book.
Not Every Income Situation Has U.S. Surrogacy as an Option
More queer men are turning to IVF and surrogacy abroad. Why? Largely the prohibitive cost of the procedures and journey in the United States. So what are the costs abroad for queer intended dads? What is the future of international IVF and surrogacy for queer fathers? Read more to find out.
Thailand is Reopening for International Surrogacy and Could Set a Precedent for Other Countries
Since 2015, Thailand has banned all international surrogacy arrangements and had very strict regulations on domestic surrogacy for Thai couples. The country is proposing a first-of-its-kind legislation to reopen the country to international intended parents, including queer couples. This could set an interesting precedent for other previously popular surrogacy countries like India and Georgia who also now have international bans in place. Read more to learn the details of the proposed Thai legislation and what it could mean for queer intended fathers all over the world.
As Alabama Essentially Bans IVF, My Husband and I Write a Thank You Letter to Our Egg Donor
The Alabama Supreme Court has taken a huge step in essentially banning IVF in the state by stating that embryos are ‘children.’ This comes at a time when my husband and I are continuing our journey to fatherhood through IVF and surrogacy in California, and we are drafting a heartfelt thank you letter to our egg donor. This juxtaposition highlights the political, social, scientific divide we have in our country and the world at the moment. What is the way forward? For BabyMoon Family and I, it is to fight for gay, bi, queer men to have access to the science that allows them to build the rainbow families of their dreams.
Denmark’s New Surrogacy Laws are a Breath of Fresh Reality
Denmark is consistently ranked as one of the happiest countries in the world. A vibrant economy, strong social fabric, and generous social services that support parents and families are often cited as some of the main reasons for this population’s happiness. However, children born through surrogacy arrangements and their intended parents have not yet benefited from the celebrated Danish system. Until now. The Danish government has announced a new legal framework for international commercial surrogacy and domestic altruistic surrogacy that is the first of its kind in Europe. In this article, I will review the legislation and what it could mean for the rest of Europe.
Science Says: International Gestational Surrogacy in the United States is Increasing
In this third installment of the BabyMoon Family Journal Club, we review a recently published study on the trend of international intended parents (IPs) working with gestational carriers (GCs) in the United States between 2014 and 2020. What are the demographics of these international IPs? What does their journey look like compared to domestic IPs? What countries are they coming from? These are some of the interesting questions that are answered and discussed in this manuscript review.
10 Questions to Discuss before Pursuing Surrogacy (Part 2)
My husband and I are on our first journey to fatherhood through surrogacy. This article (Part 2 of 2, see below for Part 1) suggests questions that any queer man should try and answer before starting the process of surrogacy. It’s a long journey, but if you think what is important to you and the creation of your family, it can be an even more enjoyable journey.
10 Questions to Discuss Before Pursuing Surrogacy (Part 1)
My husband and I are on our first journey to fatherhood through surrogacy. This article suggests questions that any queer man should try and answer before starting the process of surrogacy. It’s a long journey, but if you think what is important to you and the creation of your family, it can be an even more enjoyable journey.
Gender Roles, Gay Parents, and the Impact on Children
Gender roles are modeled by parents and have a significant impact on children and how they navigate their world for their entire life. Gender roles in straight and gay couples are different. How does this difference affect parenting roles and responsibilities and impact their children, and what dynamic is best for children?
The ‘People’s Pontiff’ is Out of Touch with the People Regarding Surrogacy
I am a gay physician who is pursuing surrogacy with my husband, and I was also raised Catholic. The Pope’s condemnation of surrogacy for assisted reproduction this week affected me more than I would have expected. In this article, I discuss the Church’s historic antagonism with science, the Church’s focus on reproductive technology, and how far removed the Pope’s statements are from the reality of surrogacy in the United States.
Science Says: Being a GC During the Pandemic was Very Hard
This continuation of the BabyMoon Family journal club explores the largest sample of gestational carriers (GCs) and investigates their experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic in Canada. What was it like to be a GC during the pandemic, and what can be done to improve the experience going forward? This article discusses the results and implications of this first-of-its-kind study.
A Gestational Carrier is the Healthy, Perfect Needle in a Haystack
Gestational carriers (GCs) are the limiting factor for any surrogacy journey. They are incredible, and they are also incredibly rare. What are the qualifications required to become a GC? And, using these criteria, about how many American women would qualify to become a GC? We go through the numbers in this article to come up with a general rough estimate of the number of women who would qualify and want to be a GC.
Ireland is Taking a Modern Regulatory Approach to International Surrogacy and the European Union Should Take Note
Ireland is working to propose a new piece of legislation that will regulate international surrogacy for Irish IPs. These recommendations come from the Irish Joint Committee on International Surrogacy, and in this article, I will review the positive and challenging aspects of the recommendations, as well as discuss the potential implications for international surrogacy in Ireland, the EU, and the world.
Queer Future Science: Same Sex Couples Could Have a Child Genetically Related to Both Parents
Recent experiments with mice have allowed two male mice to have genetically related offspring. This process is called in vitro gametogenesis, or IVG. This article discusses how IVG works, the results of the IVG experiments in mice, when IVG could be used in humans, and what this could mean for same sex couples and assisted reproductive technology (ART) in the future.